Stop Press: will wild fires put a damper on Otterfest?

The answer to the question is that we really don't know at the present time.

Tuesday evening saw the spread of two fires across an extensive area at Garve and Little Wyvis, right on the Otterfest doorstep (see pic), so we are having to review our plans and will keep everyone posted as to the latest situation.

Looks likely that we'll have to have a strictly no smoking regime, and we may well have to ban bbq's and campfires...

Bruce in the Highlands

..It would be nice - but just read this review - the O2 - a top drawer arena and they struggled to get everyone in - could we cope here at Achnasheen.

Darkness on the Edge of Achnasheen

A few people have noticed that there's a rather noticeable gap in Bruce Springsteen's early summer 2008 European tour about the time that Otterfest'08 is scheduled to take place. Naturally we can't confirm anything, but with the A832 known so famously as "Thunder Road", you know what we'd love to happen.

How to help Otters

Apart from supporting Otterfest 08, there’s really not much more you can do to ‘help’ the Green Otter, that is until it’s officially recognised as a species under threat – and be warned you’ll be the first to know..err..that is after us!

But what you can do, in the meantime, is support the activities of those who work hard for the Otters of the world.

To find out more take a look at http://www.otter.org/otterframes.html
And if you’ve time, view the live pictures from the IOSF sanctuary on the Isle of Skye, and watch the youngsters currently ‘in care’.

If you’re looking for Christmas pressies with a difference, visit the Otter shop at: http://www.ottershop.co.uk/acatalog/index.html
At the time of writing they have a special offer on Otter Whoopsies…..

Now let's get this 'fest' on the road and get the Green Otter some much needed publicity!

(Oh, was that Jon Otterway's manager on the phone, Albert?)

The River Bran

It was here that the last official sighting of the Green Otter was recorded.


A barren landscape we'll admit - but plenty of food (salmon and trout) and a little cover for that most secretive of creatures.....

And, you'll agree, plenty of room to host a music festival.

Albert's NEW 'headquarters' can be seen in this view - third building
from the left, complete with all modern conveniences
(yes! we've replaced that old bakelite phone).

Less moaning Albert, please - more action and news about 'the' bands.

The Green Otter - Lutra lutra viridulus

Well, it's been difficult finding any decent research published on the Green Otter, but the following is what I've discovered thus far (of course, if anyone has any further information please feel free to post it here):


The Green Otter is a member of the mustelid (weasel) family. With brown/yellow fur, giving off a green tinge (hence the name) with a pale cream underside, long slender streamlined body, small ears, long thick tail and webbed feet. The eyes and nostrils are high on its head with small ears. Like its cousin the European Otter, the male Green Otter is called a dog and the female a bitch - although reported to be a much faster and agile swimmer reaching speeds of 20 km/h under water and outrunning man on land.

The decline of the Green Otter is thought to have started around the time of the Highland Clearances – crofters ate their meat and used their fur to line winter clothes. It is thought that at some time these beautiful animals were also farmed. Remains have been found in caves around the Achnasheen Terraces (glacial outwash deltas) and drawings of them have been discovered on the cave walls within these natural formations. Giving reason to believe that our ancestors also hunted these animals.

Many people claim to have seen the Green Otter, however, the last officially recorded sighting was along the banks of the River Bran, near Achnasheen, at the end of the 19th century.

The Green Otter has now become the ‘Loch Ness Monster’ of Wester Ross – with many sightings being reported over the past couple of decades, although many these have been noted as wishful thinking on the part of the observer, however these unconfirmed sightings persist. One day we may well be surprised and learn that the Green Otter is alive and thriving in some remote backwater beyond Achnasheen…Loch Fannich perhaps?

From California Dreaming...to this Achnasheen nightmare.

...O.k. I'm exaggerating

I mean, albeit in a damp and chilly way, it's a nice place - but you should see the place where I'm staying which at the moment also happens to be my office. It feels that in travelling the 5000 miles from L.A. I've wound up travelling back 50 years.

Oh Christ-has it really been 50 years?

It was 50 years ago that I started in this business-hanging out with Tommy and the Cavemen and Cliff and the rest in Soho at the Two I's Coffee Bar. I had my office just round the corner, a tiny room sandwiched between a barber's shop and a knocking shop. It was there that I first began to manage bands, it was the heart of my fledgling empire where I was always on the phone, always trying to hustle gigs – blistering my dialling finger trying to get my singers and bands into the cold, bleak holiday camps that sat stationed all along the Essex and Kent coast.

And what has that got to do with Achnasheen in 2007?

Because the bleedin' phone in my bedroom/office is the same phone. I mean not literally- but I swear it's the same model- black, heavy and bakelite. Talk into it and you can hear the distance echo back at you- it's even got one of those old numbers-which aptly is Achnasheen 1958.

Everything in the place where I'm staying seems about 50 years behind the rest of the world - even the trappings of modernity seem old - I swear I saw one of the other guests with a bakelite ipod the other day ...and as for Wi-Fi – not likely seeing as Hi-Fi is still well-away in the future of this guesthouse.

Anyway it's only where I'm staying that hasn't quite given up on rationing – the rest of the town is pleasant and is fully aware that the Beatles have split (or indeed ever existed). Which is fortunate because I need to be connected to the world if this festival is going to happen. A bakelite phone was ok in the fifties- in the seventies I worked my telex 'til it squeaked like a Thai hooker on amphetamine. And in the eighties I fired off faxes like the machine was a Gatling Gun- but if Otterfest is going to be as big as some people think it might - well - we ain't going to get there with Bakelite.

So I need a proper office.

Why Achnasheen in the first place?

Achnasheen was chosen as the venue for Otterfest 08 not only because of its eminent suitability for a huge gathering (wide open spaces, legendarily fine weather, great road links to Garve and beyond, and of course Achnasheen Airport). We also chose it because of its symbolism in the history of the otter in the UK - Achnasheen was of course the location of the last recorded sighting of the Green Otter in the late nineteenth century. If anyone has any good background on the Green Otter, we'd love to hear from you. Wikipedia is definitely lacking in this department.

The Field of Storms

If you are not aware, Achnasheen in the Gaelic translates as 'the field of storms', and this seems to be worrying a few people.

But worry not. Although it's true that Achnasheen does enjoy a rather wetter and windier climate than most, we're on the case to ensure that whatever the weather it won't spoil your enjoyment of this exciting event.

We are ensuring that adequate duck-boarding runs throughout the site, including 'walks' through to the campsite, plus we'll be having a 'Tipi village', for those of you who want to camp but don't want the hassle of all that camping involves.

The Tipis will be in their own area, with parking, showers, loos, a cafe and chill-out-lounge. Each Tipi is ready erected, and will have six beds, stove and carpet.

In addition, having researched what other successful 'fests' have done (Tartan Heart, Loopallu, Glasto), we've decided to have Big Tops housing each of the music genres.

And talking of music - our collegue Chris has expressed concern: "The question is: are they making it all up? Or are they dressing up real developments with unlikely-sounding names and conversations?"

In answer: YES, we're dressing up the real developments with unlikely-sounding names and conversations....

Already the 'net is buzzing with rumours of Led Zep and Floyd - and because we're still in discussions we couldn't possibly deny or confirm. Needless to say we remain positive that Otterfest 08 will be THE music fest to end all fests.

We believe that we should all have some fun along the way - so, dear reader, sit back and continue to enjoy our updates. There's a lot to be done, you can be sure that you'll read it here first when 'it' happens....

Either I'm getting old or...

...the music business is passing me by. If I didn't know better, I'd swear that some of the stuff my fellow festival organisers are posting here doesn't sound quite right. The question is: are they making it all up? Or are they dressing up real developments with unlikely-sounding names and conversations? Or have I been on the Black Isle brew too much?

Icelandic Surreallists say "ef til vill" (I think)

Heads up!!

I'm just off the phone from an interesting discussion with the bass guitar technician for Iceland's premiere ambient airport music band - Súgar Rúshed.

It all went swimmingly, despite him not speaking a word of English and me not knowing more Icelandic than Bjork, Reykjavik, Krðne, Snow and Salted herring.

I asked if they would compose the Otterfest '08 theme and he seemed pretty pleased and positive about it!

Here's a transcript of the convo:

Me : Hi! this is Jim from the Otterfest '08 organisers, we'd like you guys to write a piece of music for us to use as a theme...

Him : Hver the helvíti ert þú? Vildi þú þóknast stöðva velja símanúmer this tala?

Me : Nice weather we're having, no?

Him : Þinn linnulaus sími kalla viðurværi vekja minn geit , hver er óður í til ala þrír kids. The dýralæknir er áhyggjufullur þessi Liðugur gets nógur hvíla áður the fæðing, og ef þú þrjóskast við með þessir óþægindi kalla , Myndað af I vill eða I vill upplýsa Bjork.

Me : So that's a 'Yes' then?

Him : Nú fara burt!

Me : Great! Look forward to it!!

Phone : 'Click...'

Think that about wraps it up for our catchy corporate choon (as they pronounce it up here...)

Fingers crossed that it proves as popular as their last EP, eh?

Onwards and upwards!

Heaven knows I'm interested now

"Two otters entwined,
passed me by,
and heaven knows I'm interested now....

I was looking for a blog
and then I found a blog,
and heaven knows I'm interested now..."

So sang Mr Mopey down the phone from the US (where he's currently on tour).

He'd just read the posting from dear Albert, and finished off by saying "If Albert's involved count me in! And get jingly-jangly Jon E Marred on the phone quick, I feel a reunion coming on!"

Frankly, this has started something, but we don't want panic on the streets of London, or panic on the streets of Birmingham either. So keep this to yourself dear reader.

We wonder could life ever be sane again?

Albert's Story

Ok-so there I am, at home in L.A. sipping by the pool with Neil, Stephen and Graham-reflecting on the glory days and we are just gently flirting with the idea of maybe giving David a call- and, you know, perhaps seeing if there’s any possibility of anything happening again-and the mobile rings.

“Albert-come out of retirement-leave your Laurel Canyon ranch style complex and come to the damp Highlands to troubleshoot our little festival.”

Ok - so this is an old friend asking me- a man who bailed me and Jimmy out of some serious, serious trouble at Shannon Airport back in the day. I owe him-but perhaps not that much. I mean there are some things I would come out of retirement for-but a community festival in the Highlands … and for Otters - what do they need help for.

So my answer is no-but then he tells me about the cats they have been talking to, the cats who want to play, - and I mean these are some heavy cats - dinosaur shaped cats in fact.

“Um. O.K. I’m impressed”

And I quickly size things up and I tell him- "I see your problem-announce one of these acts and the Internet is going to struggle with ticket demand, announce two and you’ll bend it out of shape. Announce all of them and Achnasheen will forever be known as the town that broke the Internet."

“Er-hadn’t thought of that-but that’s not the problem. The problem is that they all want to play at the same time”

…and suddenly, confronted with the mother of all running order conundrums, I see myself in the mirrored glass windows of my Laurel Canyon ranch style complex and the years fall away and there I am in Anaheim in 77 with the Mac, with all their narcotic and marital troubles – and me dealing with it with such ease and such grace. There I was - a Rock and Roll General in suede denim and aviators and with one hell of a moustache. I was on top of my game and on top of the world.

…and it comes back to me so easy- and without taking a breath or missing a beat I tell him

“Ok with these bands playing what you are talking about is having the dinosaurs ruling the earth again-it’ll be like punk never happened, (except I know you’re talking to some of those cats as well- and they are not exactly lightweights but you gotta be insisting on the original line ups there my friend) but let’s focus on the dinosaurs-and remember these dinosaurs have a food chain and you need to ask yourself which dinosaur is at the top of the food chain- and if you’re a bright man, which I know you are, then you’ll know it’s the T-Rex-so who is your T-Rex-well obviously it’s not T-Rex- because, impressive as you have been so far with the line-up - that is beyond you and is probably even beyond me-so identify which cats are your T-Rex and which cats are your Triceratops and which cats are your Stegosaurus and which cats are your Brontosaurus and then we will have a plan. I’ll be on the next flight from LAX.”

..and then after a brief explanation to Stephen, Graham and Neil ( and yes it did cross my mind- and maybe theirs as well. So memo to self there) I jetted east, and into a whole world of trouble.

Grub's (almost) up!

I've spent most of the afternoon on the telephone with the CEO (MD) of Loaves & Fishes plc - the industry's favourite large event caterers - and the overall discussion went very well!

Their MD, JC Creased, is very eager to both support such a prestige event and to promote the indigenous cuisine peculiar to the Highlands. He feels that both strata of catering can be easily accommodated - ie: the 'fast' food and the sit-down meal markets...

Price and supply were major concerns - however JC assures me he can cheaply rustle something up to cover all the consumers' needs with a "couple of shakes" of his hand, so, good news there, eh?

In another positive vein - the advertising and promotion side is simmering nicely, with some pretty good tenders in there from a few of the industry's key players (how many a's are in Satchel anyway?)

Furthermore - the conglomerates tycoon and overall smiley person - Mr Rogered Branston has agreed to underwrite and therefore offset there cost of erecting the Festival village on the proviso that we include his company's logo on all official correspondence - how does the "Fur-gen Green Otterfest" sound as a title? (We had a long discussion and I had to insist that we could not possibly change the word green to red.)

Your thoughts, as always will be appreciated!

I'm off to 'talk' (they bellyache, I listen) with a couple of our shortlisted turns to discuss riders...

Did you spot any clues?

I'm delighted to announce that Jackie, Jim and I have been joined on the Otterfest 08 Organising Committee by none other than Albert Cress, a name which will be familiar to any seasoned concert-goer. Albert of course has many fantastic connections within the music business, and although he knows the form well enough to avoid spilling the beans over our lineup too early, if past performance is our guide, I expect he'll be dropping a few well-chosen hints a little earlier than some artists would have liked!

Almost Time For The Return Of The Supergroup

...and this lot are "Almost A Supergroup" :-
On bass Mr. Bill Lynott
On guitar Mr. Derek Clapton
On drums Mrs Gill Collins
...and on vocals, no he's not from New Jersey - he's from New Malden - it's Ron Bon Jovi.

They can send you a demo - but if you're not interested, Ron's got a hamburger van.

The word is out!

The jungle drums have been beating hard around the managers and agents representing the world of rock and pop.

Our phones having been ringing off their hooks - so much so we're looking at upgrading our call centre in Garve to handle the demand.

So please bear with us during this time of transition. Morag and her team are working as hard as they can to register all interested parties. Unfortunately, the team are unable to give priority to callers representing the very famous, you'll have to wait your turn (we've changed the call waiting musak from the usual 'casio concerto' to the more musical mating calls of the green otter).

Please DO NOT use these phone lines to try to order your tickets - we'll let you know when the ticket hotline is up and running.

You Heard It Here First

The others have strictly told me not to reveal who we've been talking to over the weekend (which was the whole reason for starting this blog, after all), but I'm not sure I can restrain myself. One of the first headline acts for Otterfest 08 is going to be...

...no, perhaps I'd better not say yet. I suppose we were only talking to their manager. And we do have to check he really was their manager first. But he did seem quite keen.

Here we go!

I'm so excited: what started off as a bit of a laugh in a pub is now turning into the greatest rock festival the Highlands has ever seen - and all in aid of a really good cause! But more of that later. Enjoy this blog as we bring you news of the acts we hope to have at Otterfest 08, as well as all the times and places as soon as we can confirm them.